My Treatment Plan

I really believed that my nerves would go away after surgery. OK maybe not completely, but I thought they would at least lesson over time. I was wrong. I could barely sleep the night before my next Drs. Appointment.
I needed to go to the Dr, and hear what the plan for my treatment was going to be. When we went to the Dr he told me my surgery was successful, and they had removed everything that they needed to get. He told me that he wanted me to start with radiation first, but my body wasn’t healed completely from surgery yet. So he said the plan was I would start with three chemotherapies, take a break and do radiation, and then once again finish with chemotherapy. I’m pretty sure that the first thing most people associate with the word chemotherapy is loss of hair. I was told I would lose my hair along with many other side effects that could possibly happen. I asked how many months my treatment would be. They told me most likely five, but to plan on six because sometimes side effects happen, and treatment doesn’t go as scheduled. A half a year seemed pretty fair to me, if it meant at the end I would be cancer free.
My first chemo would be on January 6th. This was a huge sense of relief for me. It meant I got to enjoy the holidays with my family, and hopefully try to think of things other than cancer. I had a wonderful Christmas. First we celebrated with Kim, Aaron, and the boys. I was so happy to watch them open their gifts, and see how excited they were for Christmas. Jax even said to me “Margo is that all you got me?” Ahh to be four years old to say whatever you want, and to not have a care in the world! What I wouldn’t give to go back to that time in my life.
I really can’t even begin to explain how nice it was to spend the holidays with our families. So many people have helped Derek, and I. The love and support we have gotten from everyone is truly incredible. It was the greatest Christmas present we could have ever asked for. To all of you that have been there for us, we are so thankful, and love you all. A million thank-you’s wouldn’t be close to enough to tell, and show you how much you mean to us.
The holidays flew by! I really enjoyed the week, and half I didn’t have to go to the Dr. It really made me feel like cancer didn’t consume all of my life. But what it also did was helped me prepare myself for the next step in my treatment. It allowed me to come to terms with chemo, and I told myself “I can do this.” I was ready to head to the Dr again, and once again attempt to “bam” the cancer out of me.
**** The expression “bam it” comes from my favorite four year old Jax. Whenever something makes him mad, or is bad he always says he is going to “bam it.” Jax’s parents even gave me a necklace that I haven’t taken off since surgery that says “bam it.”